Q. My partner and I can’t agree on where to go on vacation next month. I want Palm Springs, partner says it’s the perfect time to go to a big city and take advantage of sale prices everywhere. We’ve actually been fighting over this, as in YELLING. We’re usually much more amiable, so this is freaking us out. Where do we start with this? – Surprised at the Spat

Dear Surprised: Fighting over desert getaway versus urban shopping trek makes you two sound, well, shallow and immature. Yet the fact that it bothers you so much hints at some depth, as well as a partnership worth working on. Sit yourselves down and get to the root causes. Someone feeling manipulated? Bad memories of trips to either place? Worried about looking fat at poolside or un-chic in the city? Try this: each of you write down what you think is really behind your objection. Swap notes at the same moment. If that doesn’t lead to a discussion of value, then get ye to a couples therapist. Spending the vacation budget on some help might end up being just the vay-cay you need.

– O!Connor